Be my Valentine (Again)

According to the calendar, today is February 14, which means that it’s Valentine’s Day. Not only that, but because of the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles, it’s also license plate registration day.

Or at least it is in my house.  Near as I can tell, the Indiana BMV has setup a system in which the due date for license plate renewal corresponds to the vehicle owner’s last name. So people whose name starts with A renew their plates in January, the last names that start with Z renew in December, and everyone else is in between. But, in a stroke of ingenious thinking, the BMV doesn’t make all license plate renewals due by the last day of the month, but rather by the 7^th, 14^th, 21^st or 28^th of the month. And, following that system, my vehicle’s plates are due to be renewed on Valentine’s Day.

Big deal.

The coincidence of the dates got me thinking though. Valentine’s Day is the day of love. It began as a celebration of romantic love based on a Christian saint. Somewhere along the way it evolved into a day where copious amounts of chocolate, candy and flowers are sold, but the basic message remains: love is something to be celebrated, and even though we should show our loved ones that we love them every day of the year, it’s nice to have one specific day set aside for such an occasion.

And if we can have a National Poultry Day (March 19), then why not a day set aside for love?

But what if we changed Valentine’s Day a little bit so that instead of just a celebration of love, it became a renewal of love?

Imagine if you had to renew your marriage license every year the same way you renew your license plates. Everyone would have to circle February 14 on their calendar and put some thought into whether they’re ready to keep their marriage going for another year. Perhaps we’d pay more attention to our romantic love, and put more effort into maintaining it if we knew that our spouse could decide to cut us loose at renewal time.

Of course I’m aware that spouses can always cut us loose. A divorce rate that’s supposedly near 50% is evidence of that. But to quote Thomas Jefferson, “a law of limited duration is much more manageable than one which needs a repeal.” If we extend Jefferson’s idea to matters of the heart, then instead of just purchasing flowers and candy for our loved ones every February 14, we might actually take the time to think about our love for them. And if that love remains, then let it continue for another year. We could all take comfort knowing that our spouse chose us just within the past year, not merely twenty, or twenty-five, or thirty years ago and are still around only because it’s easier to do nothing than to do something.

Something like this already exists, I suppose. Renewing vows has become increasingly popular in recent years. I don’t personally know anyone who’s done it, but a number of celebrities have.

And a close examination of those celebrities tears apart the idea. The first time I’d ever heard of it was when my wife mentioned Seal and Heidi Klum did it every year for the six or seven years they were married. They’re now divorced. A quick check of ten celebritycouples who renewed their vows show five divorces, one death, and four couples still together. So that works out to a 50% divorce rate.

Just like the general public.

All right, it’s an admittedly bizarre idea, and the implementation of such a system would be a nightmare. So if you want to stay married, stay married. If you don’t, then don’t.

It’s an easy choice for me though. I’ve been married just over ten years, and although my wife and I have never renewed our vows, I’m thankful every single day that I have her. She’s the best decision I ever made, and I’d do so again and again if I had to.

Happy Valentine’s Day.